Abeltigress' Journals

matthews life

MATTHEW'S LIFE

The life and death of Matthew Shepard changed the way we talk about and deal with hate in the United States. For the past eight years, the legacy of this remarkable young man's life has challenged and inspired millions of individuals to erase hate in all forms. Although his life was short, it continues to have a great impact on both young and old alike.

The story of Matthew Shepard begins on December 1, 1976 when he was born prematurely to Judy and Dennis Shepard in the small city of Casper, Wyoming. Matthew attended school in Casper until his junior year of high school when he finished his primary education at The American School in Switzerland. His experience abroad fueled his love for travel. He took the opportunity to explore Europe and learn multiple languages including German and Italian.

Matthew was an optimistic and accepting young man. He always put his family and friends first and had a special gift of relating to almost everyone. He was the type of person that was very approachable and always looked to new challenges. Matthew had a great passion for equality and always stood up for the acceptance of people's differences. Throughout his life he expressed his love for acting by becoming very active in community theater both on and off stage.

Matthew's college career took him to a number of different universities and later ended up studying political science, foreign relations and languages at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. He was extremely interested in politics and was chosen as the student representative for the Wyoming Environmental Council.

The horrific events that took place shortly after midnight on October 7, 1998 went against everything that Matthew embodied. Two men, Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson, lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of hate. Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow.

Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. His entire family was by his side for the last few days of his life. His funeral was attended by friends and family from around the world and gained the appropriate media attention that brought Matthew's story to the forefront of the fight against hate.

This tragedy helped the nation wake up to the fact that hate and discrimination still lives in our communities, our schools and our families. Although his life was cut short, the impact of his spirit is great.

im sorry

How do you heal a reluctant heart? When it knows the pain of unfairness. Where do you begin to mend the pieces of a broken smile no longer there? Iâ�™m sorry. So here I am - an image of perfect pain. In realization I am more alone than ever, no longer a part of an embrace shared by lovers, by friends, I stand in solitude before a mass of stares. Iâ�™m sorry Iâ�™m so sorry. I could never return to how I used to be, not after the changes you have made in me. In the mist of smiles and laughter I find myself bound to chains of self-hate from what I did. Again Iâ�™m sorry. A parched throat hungers for rain, but with lips sewn shut, my cries unheard ,and these tears to match the grey skies above me, no longer seen against the blur of self given pain. Im sorry the dark crevices of my mind plead protesting truth that was known within. A secret realization of paranoia unknown sends the heart into seizure only you know how to feed. Im sorry. How cruel my fates may be to toy with hearts of the untamed. allowing the first few steps of freedom only to be snatched back to a cruel reality. Im sorry. I could never let go without saying goodbye. These words my apologies choke up behind cracked and bloodied lips. I could always remember you by fingertips. The pain wil supsidr, reason promises this. Im sorry. Empty words mean no more than empty smiles from now on I canâ�™t promise truth of happiness. The lies inside, they multiply, by the sum of your absence. Monochrome pictures lie behind my eyelids because of you. Im sorry. Slate colored skies and muted colors paint my world. Im starved for your life, the tender breath of eagerness but this heart is undeserving. I feel it in my soul. The title of my pain is the day I let the perfect girl go. The day I let you go. Im sorry. You left me wondering why I just couldnâ�™t be something inside of me that you wish I could see. And you know I blame myself for all of this. You knew I loved you even before you asked. But wish you could have seen it in my eyes. Im sorry. And you would never understand the blame I feel every time I remember how much your tears were real. As I wander off. As I abandoned you. So this pain is something I have to go through. I am so sorry. Was there ever a reson why you loved me before .or do you love me now as you say. The reason why I crave is because I am deprived. By the wickedness of selfishness of need to want. im sorry. And if its any consolation, I promise you this that my love for you is still and shall forever remain strong. No hurt will I feel as long as I know you were real and the only pain is that I fell heard and fast . you were the best thing I had that lasted.

I AM BEYOND SORRY.

- MARS

omg i live this song

CUTE IS WHAT WE AIM FOR

"Newport Living"

Everyone's a let down
It just depends on how far down they can go
In every circle of friends there's a whore
The one who flirts
And does a little more
But who's to say?
This is a social scene anyway
And everybody wants to explore the new girl
Caught up in her own hard liquor world
But liquor doesn't exist in my world
But liquor doesn't exist in my world

And if you lie you don't deserve to have friends
If you lie you don't deserve to have them
If you lie you don't deserve to have friends
If you lie

You are a sell out
But you couldn't even do that right
So your price tag has been slashed
And now you're chillin' on a half priced clearance rack
You are a sell out
But you couldn't even do that right
So your price tag has been slashed
And now you're chillin' on a half priced clearance rack

The social scene where she gets her fix
Has been broken since '86
Now just look at that social clique
Do you really wanna be a part of it?
Let's not let us forget
Where she gets the habit
She gets the pills from her skills
She gets the skills from the pills
And just look at that clique
Do you really wanna be the star of it?

You are a sell out
But you couldn't even do that right
So your price tag has been slashed
And now you're chillin' on a half priced clearance rack
You are a sell out
But you couldn't even do that right
So your price tag has been slashed
And now you're chillin' on a half priced clearance rack

If you lie you don't deserve to have friends
If you lie you don't deserve to have them
If you lie you don't deserve to have friends
If you lie

Everybody is a let down
It just depends on how far down they can go

You are a sell out
But you couldn't even do that right
So your price tag has been slashed
And now you're chillin' on a half priced clearance rack
You are a sell out
But you couldn't even do that right
So your price tag has been slashed
And now you're chillin' on a half priced clearance rack

this is interesting and random

[1] Whats your Name?:
[2] Are we close?:
[3] What do you think of me?:
[4] Do you fancy me?:
[5] Would u kiss me?:
[6] Would you date me?:
[7] Describe me in 3 words?:
[8] If u Had Me for 30 Mins wat would you do?:
[9] What was ur first impression of me?:
[10] Do u still think the same?:
[11] What reminds u of me?:
[12] If you could give me anything what would it be?:
[13] How well do u know me? :
[14] What do u like best about me?:
[15] Ever wanted 2 tell me something u could'nt?:
[16] Could you ever love me?:
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why?:
[18] R u gona put this on ur blog and c wat i say bout u?:
[19] Anything 2 say b4 u go?: